Damning Touch
by erre13
Summary: Keep it together Harry, for just a bit longer.


Author's Note: I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that belongs to JKR.

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><p>Damning Touch<p>

Dull green eyes stared at still bandaged fingers until the sound of an open door shook him from his thoughts. Dark eyes stared back at him and he quickly hid behind his messy fringe and put a sneer on his face but the man merely raised an eyebrow before stepping closer. Harry however took as many steps back as he did forward.

"I never thought I would find you here Potter." Velvet tones threatened to soothe him but Harry remained firm.

"Yeah, well, people tend to think they know more than they do." Harry said emotionlessly; catching the man off guard with his tone and choice of words.

"He would have not wanted you to grieve for him." They both know who he was referring to but neither wanted to say the name outloud. "Despite our…differences, he was-"

"You don't have to say anything for my sake Sir, we both know that there is enough history there to last several volumes." Harry turned to look out the window of a forgotten tower that was usually protected by the Bloody Baron and the Grey Lady.

"Very well. But know Potter, there are those who you can talk to. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger for example. I will also make myself available if you so desire." Harry laughed at the man's words; bitterness and longing curling around the haggard sound.

"To think I would see the day that Severus Snape would offer his support for The-Boy-Who-Lived so openly." Avada Kadavra eyes pieced him and Snape took a hesitant step back from the gaze. It was a look too old for a child. He wondered if he was the only one that still remembered that Potter was a child, barely sixteen and thrust into a destiny that had caused him more heartache then joy. He wondered if Lily, or even James, wished that he could do something more for their son besides being the figure in the shadows.

"You know, I've always known it was you who supported me." Harry's eyes were once again turned towards the rain. "People always think Hermione is the intelligent one, which she is mind you, but I'm not stupid either. All this time I've known it was you who was helping me." Harry turned his head and Snape blinked at the strange smile on the boy's face coupled with the intensity in his eyes.

"I wonder if you'll get killed for it." Snape smirked at him.

"If the Dark Lord ever finds out I will most certainly be." The words hung beneath them, a possible truth that neither could deny.

"You know, I've been wondering lately how it would have been different if you and Mum had been together from the beginning." Snape looked at him sharply.

"What are you talking about Potter?"

"What would it be like if you had never joined Voldemort. Would the two of you produce a child named Harry? Would he have an easier life then me? Perhaps it would have been my soul in another body, my soul in another life. I could have been your son and you would have been my father instead of James." The voice was wistful.

"There is no point in dwelling on could-have-beens, Harry." The child looked at him suddenly and laughed until tears leaked from his eyes and Snape took a step closer wondering if he could stave off Potter's apparent madness.

"Isn't it funny that I can always count on you to be the same Snape? To be the Professor that isn't blinded by my fame, the person who makes sure I won't grow up to be as arrogant as my Father and as reckless as my Godfather. You are the person who has never lied to me, omitted some truths yes, but has never lied. I know you, Severus, as well as you know me. Our lessons months ago ensured that." Harry pressed the palms of his hands into his eye sockets as if trying to blacken out his very thoughts.

"Professor, what do you want from me?" The Potions Master was startled at the question that seemed to come out of nowhere.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Everyone I've ever met has expected or wanted something from me Professor. My aunt and her family expect be to a troublemaker. Ron expects and wants a friendship with fame, Hermione wants someone she can control and influence no matter how little it is, McGonagall expects me to be James, Flitwick expects to see my Lily's talent in me, Remus and Sirius both expected and wanted the same relationship they had with my Father, and Dumbledore and the rest expect and want me to save them." Harry leaned his back against the stone window ledge and turned his head towards him. "Now I ask you what you want from me Professor. Perhaps if it is not too difficult I will give it to you since you deserve some form of compensation for your work." Snape walked until he was right in front of the boy and attempted to touch the scar on his forehead in an surprising gentile gesture only to have his hand pushed away harshly. The boy was panting in front of him as if he had run a great distance or was trying not to explode in some great show of emotion.

"You really shouldn't do that Professor." Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Do what exactly, Mr. Potter?" The smirk on the boys face was unnerving.

"Reach out to me with such gentile hands. It will only get you killed. As much as we've pretended to detest each other I would rather you live through this war."

"Showing you some form of care will not kill me Potter." Snape attempted again but Harry quickly jumped back, his wand pointed at Severus.

"My touch is damning." He held up a bandaged hand and laughed, his eyes shining brightly with partially formed madness. "People get hurt if they get too close and I don't think I could stand it if you were next. As much as I don't want to admit it, I need you to be there for me Professor because I don't think I would be able to survive without your interventions." Harry stepped back further and further into the darkness of the tower. "So, again I ask you, what do you want from me?" Severus Snape sighed and looked out the window towards memories that only he could see.

"Keep it together Harry, for just a bit longer. Can you do that for me?" Severus didn't know what type of response he was going to get but a combination of laughter and tears was not what he was expecting. The boy held his head slightly back so that he could project his mirth to the heavens but his fists were curled at his sides. Eventually the laughter was too disturbing for Severus to continue to converse with the boy and he left without a word, his cloak eventually sweeping away the humor and replacing the sounds with that of a broken child.

When Potter followed him from the tower the following year after Dumbledore's death Snape swore he saw something break in the child. Perhaps it was hope or maybe innocence. However, instead of the continuation of the fight after Draco had left Harry had put his wand down and turned towards the sky letting the stars reflect in his eyes.

"Is this what you meant when you said to keep it together for just a bit longer Professor?" Snape said nothing while watching the son of his best friend and enemy turn towards the Dark Mark that hung in the sky above the tower.

"This year will be your most difficult." Potter turned to him with a sad smile before speaking again.

"Like I said, you never lie." Potter exhaled a large amount of air before running a hand through his always unruly locks. "Make sure you're there at the end Severus. I'd like to see if you've survived after all." Both turned away as several figures approached their location, hostility present in their voices and their magic.

"Just a bit longer." Severus whispered before disappearing.

The shack was cold now, or perhaps it was him that was cold, Severus couldn't tell.

"I told you caring would get you killed." He knew that voice. He turned towards peridot eyes. Strange, they used to be a brilliant emerald color but now seemed so dull and watered down.

"P-Pot-ter." A vial was pressed to his lips and the metallic taste reminded him of Blood Replenisher. Vial after vial seemed to be forced onto him and he could hear the murmuring of healing charm after healing charm pointed at his throat. He was lucky that he had created an antidote for Nagini's venom a long time ago when the Dark Lord was less concerned for his familiar.

"Memories." The word was stronger than he thought he could make it sound but Harry only smiled at him.

"I told you Professor, Hermione may be brilliant but I'm not stupid. I've know about my scar for a while now." He ran a hand through Snape hair, pushing the strands from his forehead. Snape blinked at the action, shouldn't it have been the other way around? Potter was after all the child, and he the adult tasked with his care. "Just keep it together for a bit longer Professor, can you do that for me?" Those words seemed so familiar but Snape could only close his eyes; why was he so tired?

He didn't know how much time had passed but Severus had eventually woken up and managed to sit himself up against the wall of the Shrieking Shack. He tested his would and was impressed with the healing. Potter really had known what he was doing, surprising and yet not so. He performed a _Tempus_ charm and found that it was into the evening, past seven and he wondered as to the state of the war. He snorted at the thought that Potter had told him to keep it together for just a bit longer but the last time he had checked that had been around four hours ago. Testing his body he stood and slowly made his way towards the castle, passing all forms of dead, injured, and dying on his way. At the entrance to the Great Hall he stopped to look at the bodies lined up on the floor-so many that he had known, few that had not. He wondered if his presence as a traitor would disrupt the grieving.

"Professor Snape!" The shout caused the whole hall to stop and stare at him while Hermione pushed her way towards him. "Professor Snape, Harry told everyone what you did while he was facing Voldemort. You're a hero." Snape mentally winced at the word. A Hero was what he was not. A Survivor was more fitting.

"And where exactly is Mr. Potter?" Hermione bit her lip nervously.

"We don't know. We've just noticed that he's been missing actually, so much has been going on." Snape noticed that she was relatively unharmed. "We are worried though, he took a slicing hex to the face badly, I couldn't see properly but I think it got at least one of his eyes." Snape blinked. Potter was blind then? He couldn't have gone that far.

"I'm sure he will turn up Ms. Granger." He was still Headmaster and was able to use the castle wards, no matter how dismantled they were, to find Harry in the spot he had found him a year ago, though how he got there was a mystery considering his condition. "I suspect my presence, no matter how justified, is not welcome here." He made to turn but Hermione stopped him.

"Despite everything Sir, I want to thank you." She let go of his sleeve quickly and walked back to the rest of the hall where the Weasleys were waiting. Snape nodded his head at them before finding the hidden staircase that would lead him towards the Grey Lady's tower. His footsteps were soft and sure despite the stiffness of his body but he made it to the top only slightly haggard. The sight that greated him made him frown. Hermione had been correct in the fact that Harry had taken a slicing hex to the face but the extent of the damage was not as simple as she had hoped. The boy's mouth from his lips to his right ear was split open, his jaw hanging open unevenly from the lack of cheek support. The slash overlapped a gash that cut across his nose and eyes which would probably be unable to be fixed considering the time that had elapsed between. A third overlapped his scar, tearing the symbol in two before it disappeared under his still unruly bangs. Severus knelt down next to the boy and lifted his chin with a shaking hand.

"Come to finish me off Severus?" Harry's voice was light and airy, and it made Severus uncomfortable.

"And have all my efforts be wasted, I think not Potter." The Potions Master shifted the boy's head in different directions to see if the damage could be fixed. He rummaged through his cloak and various hidden pockets and tipped a Blood Replenishing Potion into the boys hanging jaw watching as Harry sputtered and choked slightly.

"You know, after a while it doesn't hurt. I wonder if Sirius felt any pain when he fell." Severus only hummed before tracing the gashes with his wand and closing the wounds. It was crude but necessary considering the dark magic that lingered in the cuts.

"I'm not sure if your eyesight will be saved." Severus said truthfully and he carefully opened Harry's eyelids to assess the effects of the curse. It wasn't as bad as he had originally thought, the lids having taken most of the hex. "Your right eye may be able to bounce back with the correct potions but the left is far too damaged."

"Will you truly begin to hate me Professor, now that my resemblance to my Mum has been destroyed?" The boy was quiet, his shoulders tense with the inability of not seeing his face.

"Weren't you listening Potter? I did just say your right eye could be salvaged." Potter hummed again and was quiet while Snape levitated him towards the infirmary to where hopefully Poppy was waiting.

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><p>It came as a shock to many when the announcement had been made that Harry Potter, the Savior of the Wizarding World had been adopted by Severus Snape, former Headmaster and Death Eater. Eventually the comments dulled and the articles stopped and life went on as usual in the world.<p>

"So, if you and Mum had gotten together what would you have named your child?" Harry asked again after the twentieth time of being ignored by his newly gained Father. Snape glared at the boy but his eyes held a softness that most would not have noticed. The boy could now see with one eye and the scars would forever be present on his face but they didn't seem to bother the boy. In fact, he seemed to be content with his appearance. Snape himself had been subject to the history of scars that littered the skin of his son on more than one occasion.

"Why do you persist in asking?" Harry shrugged.

"I just want to know if perhaps my soul would have been born under a different name or something."

"How are you so sure that your soul would be that of a child conceived by Lily and I? Perhaps your soul is that of a Potter child?"

"I just like thinking about could-have-beens."

"I've told you before that there is no use in doing so."

"Humor me." Severus Snape sighed and closed the book he had been reading.

"If the child had turned out a girl I would have named her Xenia Eileen Snape. Eileen for my mother. Had the child turned out a boy I would have named him Alexander Harrison Snape. Harrison for Lily's father. Of course, I have no idea what Lily would have wanted to name a child born of the two of us." Snape said wistfully.

"Weird, you thought of names for future children with a women who ended up being nothing more but a friend." Harry said, but without malice or scorn.

"Yes, well, could-have-beens and all that."


End file.
